I hate myself–for being so weak. I am not being paid anywhere near what I should be. And I understand the economy is in the shitter and I should be lucky to have a job. But this has been going on a for a long time.
For some reason, and it’s probably fear, I can not bring myself to ask for more money. Even before this economic crisis happened and salaries were frozen, I couldn’t ask and it bothers me.
A lot of my comrades say you gotta leave if you’re chasing dollars. But why? If I leave, they’ll hire someone to replace me and they’ll make a whole lot more than I’m asking.
It’s so weird that our livelihoods depend on money and yet, I can’t or rather, won’t fight for it.
Maybe I feel like it would be too awkward. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to counter his argument. Maybe I’m afraid he’ll fire me. Maybe I feel that he feels that I owe him. I know, I know.
I remember when I was in high school and I thought about the future, I thought how exciting it would be to make $35,000 a year. (I grew up in a very small town obviously). And I can’t believe that’s how little I expected. I guess I didn’t value myself. I still don’t apparently.
Every industry is different. Tell me about yours. Are you getting what you’re worth. If not, how come?
euphoria meets holy crap meets badass 
Leave a Reply